Title: Me and Amelia
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Blog Entry: Since i was sitting here, thought i would write about things on my mind about me and Amelia. Now its not Amelia at all that is causeing problems, and honestly things seem good in our relationship...however, i just sometimes feel that it takes me....i guess you can say it takes me a "while" to get warmed up to Amellia. Ok so i know that doesnt make sence, but let me give a example. For some reason, when i have to see Amelia outside of "normal" times i usually see her, i kinda feel like everything is.....out of place i guess. Like today, i was off of work, and once of the first things she asks me is "do you want to get lunch" Now any man who has had any sort of female companionship, weather it be freind or farther up the ladder, knows good and well that you arent gonna say "no" to a lady for lunch. However, usually on my days off dureing the week, im CHILLING, like hardcore chilling, like not going anywhere, not seeing anyone, not wanting to do anything at all chilling. I wanted to stay in front of my computer, and play wow on the server (which for the record, i know wow is popular, but honestly i dont see why it is, its a decnt game, but not one of the best MMOs ive played, i personally like Ultima Online, and i need to get back on that...) anyways, back on topic, so yea, i just wanted to really sit around and bum and do nothing... So i guess what im saying is that sometimes it just feels like we are being forced sometimes...i have to pick her up, then bring her to get food, then we have to talk about stuff and such, and honestly i just didnt feel like going through the whole thing....its not that i dont love her, cause i really love her alot....i just wasnt in the mood.... I know as a boyfreind it sounds horrible, and since im going to the councelor i may as well tell him about it next time i go back, but im just really thinking that im haveing a hard time adjusting from "single" to "taken" Im haveing a hard time adjusting to the fact that i cant go where i want to go, do what i want to do, watch what i want to watch on tv withought haveint to think "oh she doesnt like that". When im alone it feels like a breath of fresh air, i can just do what i want, but when Amelia is around i just feel like i have a job to do or something........ I know that love isnt suppose to be this way, but i just dont know why i feel like this sometimes...the feeling will go away with time, and as we spend time, usually i start to warm up to her, and start to really love her being around But then after she goes away and comes back, it resets all over again, and i go back to my "OHHHHHHH GEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I JUST WANNA GO HOME AND BUM AROUND" type of frame of mind.... I dont know, its all just so confuseing and nerv racking...maby the past jacked me up on the head alittle more than i relize..
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