Scotch, whiskey, vodka, rum
All so tasty, yum, yum, yum
One shot, two shot, twenty-four
Now you're passed out on the floor
"Ija beja" is all you say
Drunken rubbish, and the next day
'Cause you didn't drink in mod-
Eration, you're now bowing to the porcelain god.

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Ladies listen, ladies hear
Find the one that you'll hold dear
Keep him close but when on the rocks
Give him you heart in a metal box

Treat him well so he will not
Desire to chase any harlot
Love him gently with joy and grace
But give him your heart in a metal case

For very well come may the day
He'll break you, or try as he may
For if you've heeded, he won't get far
If you've given him your heart in a metal jar.

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I see your nasty habits
Your porn and your wanking
But your secrets I reveal not
Not your SSN or your banking
I faithfully ward off
Intruders of every kind
I diligently search for
Whatever you need to find
I keep safe and secure
Your work and your play
Although I tire so from you
Keeping me awake all day
I bite my cheek and wait patiently
For the pain to subside
Every time you curse and yell
And kick me in the side
The Blue Screen of Death was n... Read More

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