So while I was laptop-less, Pete and I had to decide what our living situation was going to be for the upcoming semester
It was really difficult to decide. We both kept going back and forth once we came to a conclusion
Our main problem stemmed from the fact we both felt EXACTLY the same, which led us to be indecisive. We both have hated this and loved it. And being that we're over the hating part, it was hard to let that influence us, except we knew it could happen again
I'm more adjusted to this because my ex lived with me for a short period of time. While it was a bit different because it was at my parents', I still had to learn to adjust to not having as much privacy as I used to. And I f*cking hated it, but there was nothing I could do. So now living with Pete, I've already figured out how to compromise my privacy. Pete hasn't. I mean he's getting more used to it, but I'm steps ahead of him in that aspect
He kept mentioning not wanting to get sick of me/being pissed at me for just simply being here. And obviously I don't want that either. It kind of hurts to know someone you love is pissed at you for just being there. So I opted to live on campus for this semester. We had mentioned me living on campus and then us re-evaluating things for spring semester, that way we'd have a compare and contrast going-time spent living together, then time spent apart
While I really would love to just stay here, and I know Pete feels that way now, I think it's in our best interest. Eventually every relationship has to move past the "absence" aspect, but I'm not sure if that's where we're at. Because I miss it a lot. While it sucks to miss Pete...I miss missing him. It really adds to a relationship, but obviously that can't always be an aspect of a relationship. But I don't know if I'm ready to move past that. If I'm not and I stay here I might get bored. Yeah I'll be working part time and be at school full time and Pete will be working full time and taking classes part time...but I'm used to going at least a week without seeing him. And the whole "omg I missed you so much" is something I liked
We both made a promise that we'd give this at least a month to work. We just have a feeling I'm going to be here every second I possibly can and I don't want to waste my parents' money like that. So we figure there's 3 months we have to "make it through". If we can go a month, we're 1/3 of the way there
I have a feeling I'll be living back here in the spring. I just don't want to chance f*cking things up
~*Jess*~
